The Question of Commitment

One of the things we struggle to answer in youth ministry is this: what are we really committed to do?  why are we committed to doing it?  what is God calling us to be committed to?  what is our level of commitment?  WHO are we committed to?

I find myself pondering about these questions because sometimes I feel that I lose sight of what it is that I am really committed to.  Sometimes it feels that I am only committed to youth ministry because I am committed to my friends.  Sometimes I feel I am only committed to youth ministry because I am committed to playing music for worship and I love it.   There are many reasons and none of them are wrong.  But for the past couple of days I have been called to dig in a little bit deeper on what is the meaning of real commitment when we serve in youth ministry.  I've felt that when commitment becomes real in a youth servant, the foundations of the apostolate becomes stronger.  

I look at the faces of the young people I serve in the apostolate with and when I see their faces in fervent prayer I know that there is no mistake, their hearts beat for the same thing.  To see the glory of God in the land of the living.  

However, what makes youth ministries thrive does not only come from a one time gathering of prayer.  The growth of the ministry depends on our growth as ministers.  

And sometimes, it can elude us.  This question of growth.  It becomes too deep and all the activities related to it seem insurmountable.  But one thing is certain, our growth is seen in how we treat each other.  Our growth is seen in how we come to know the Lord and how we continue to long to know Him more.  Our growth is seen in our love.  If we do love, then should we not want what is better?  If we do love, should we not care enough to know the truth?  

The apostolic exhortation of Pope Paul VI says this,

This fidelity both to a message whose servants we are and to the people to whom we must transmit it living and intact is the central axis of evangelization. It poses three burning questions, which the 1974 Synod kept constantly in mind: 

• In our day, what has happened to that hidden energy of the Good News, which is able to have a powerful effect on man's conscience? 

• To what extent and in what way is that evangelical force capable of really transforming the people of this century? 

• What methods should be followed in order that the power of the Gospel may have its effect?

What does it take to answer those questions?  How much honesty do we put in being able to face these questions ourselves?  How deep have we truly encountered the Lord in our gatherings that this encounter propels us to continue to seek after Him not just after one worship service or one powerful conference?  How deeply do we want this encounter to stay with us long after the eventful moments of a retreat comes to pass?  How deep do we want it to permeate our lives?  How much of it do we want to run in our veins?  

And why?  Last week I attended a preaching by Brother Arun Gogna of the Feast and he pointed out a message so strong.  He said that the only time we are able to commit to change for the better is when we have a big enough reason that answers our big enough why.  

When I watch the faces of these young ministers, I find hope that in this dark world they can be that light.  They can be that beacon of hope.  For God continues to relentless pursue their innocence and their childlike spirits.  

But it remains my prayer that as they answer the call to serve God in kingdom building, I hope they heed these words and know that they are part of a long line of generation of kingdom builders that have also faltered and felt "out of it" and that's okay.  And it is okay to not look so powerful or extravagant for a moment.  And it is okay to not always have that "ooomphhh".  What matters is that our hearts remain united and yielded to the One who has called us here. 

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who sends a love letter to the world.  We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.  (Mother Teresa)

The Church is an evangelizer, but she begins by being evangelized herself. She is the community of believers, the community of hope lived and communicated, the community of brotherly love, and she needs to listen unceasingly to what she must believe, to her reasons for hoping, to the new commandment of love. She is the People of God immersed in the world, and often tempted by idols, and she always needs to hear the proclamation of the "mighty works of God"[41] which converted her to the Lord; she always needs to be called together afresh by Him and reunited. In brief, this means that she has a constant need of being evangelized, if she wishes to retain freshness, vigor and strength in order to proclaim the Gospel. The Second Vatican Council recalled[42] and the 1974 Synod vigorously took up again this theme of the Church which is evangelized by constant conversion and renewal, in order to evangelize the world with credibility. (Pope Paul VI)

Make A Friar, Makes a Point.

So I'm trying to think about what to write in response to the latest talk on the YouTube video of Jefferson Bethke.  Until I found this video already speaking for me.  

In the  Youth Apostolate I belong to, we come to know very little about the fullness of our faith primarily because the resources available to us in my country is not as expansive as what other youth ministries out there are exposed to.  While I say that the youth I flock around with have so much passion in their heart to bring the message of the gospel, I ache to have them receive more about the truth from well established youth ministries and inspiring people like this guy.  

So much of what he has said rings true.  This is a fresh insight on how young people can view the Catholic faith.  We know very little of it and the longing to discover more about it is one step into the freedom and wholeness that I know The Youth dream to experience.

An Introduction: I Am Steve

To know Christ is to know me.

Now I know that that's not quite the way most people would introduce themselves. But I suppose this is the fastest way. Sure, there are plenty of details about my 35 year old life, some of which are mundane, some of which are extraordinary. Nevertheless, I would summarize the journey of my life so far as: Steve, a convalescing, adopted son of God. That's it. The details of my life are summarized in those word: convalescing, meaning I am sick with an incurable illness called sin. The remedy: grace. Adopted son of God, meaning my life has been bought by another. 

While I still have my earthly family, for whom I am tremendously grateful, I also know that the "family business" I am meant to take up is God's "business." I also know that whatever Jesus has because He is the Son of God, I also have, not by nature, but by grace. What Jesus has a right to, I have a privileged share. It's quite the deep mystery to ponder ... one that I hope you will ponder with me as this blog enters into wider circulation.

{with Audrey Assad}

There's much to say ... but in time, the Lord will provide an opportunity. I'm grateful to my dear cousin, Kathy, who has asked me to contribute to this blog of hers. I will do whatever little I can from this snowy American state to help her ministry out in the familiar tropics of the Philippines.

Until next time,

in sinu Patris,

Steve

Breaking Bread and the Blessedness of Conversations

It's one of those Saturday afternoons that they decide to round themselves up and get a little bit more serious about things.  The Youth.  It comes every now and then.  A group finds the same rhythm.  The same spirit.  They want to walk into the deep.  Sometimes they walk all the way through, sometimes they don't.  I've witnessed this almost 5 years ago.  And it has been a while since I've seen it again since.  

Young people have this force that make you believe anything is possible.  I've been a witness to their pursuits the past 6 years.  While they always refer to me as their adviser, I often refer to myself as an observer.  I like observing their lives and seeing it unfold.  It inspires something in me that I never thought I had, the ability to dream and to pursue it.

They talk about the apostolate they cherish.  Their second home.  They laugh and humorously crack some jokes about their own flaws as leaders and as followers.  They find their way through the conversation and eventually admit that they have all been wanting something more than what they experience as a ministry.  They wanted truth.  They wanted to go beyond the activities and the fellowship.  They wanted more than just gathering together.  They wanted to experience God.

I find it a humbling experience to hear people young as they are talk about the need for depth.  Nothing can be deeper as longing to be filled by the love of God.  These are people who at their young age have taught me so much about life.  Most of the time I wonder if I am even much help but I realize at the end of it all, we just really need each other.  

Today I realized that we need to be transparent about our feelings to the people we serve, we nurture, we minister.  It is this honesty that helps us overcome the differences that keep us from being as united as the Body that Christ has meant us to be.

I listen some more and felt that it has been such a long time I've listened this intently to the hearts of the young.  I missed it.  I missed allowing myself to be captivated by their creativity and their ease.  I had missed watching the tender yearning of their hearts drive them to lift up their lives so dearly to a cause bigger than what they can even fathom.  

"It's like we're on different paths.  Different streets.  I'm coming from the highway.  You're coming from another neighborhood.  She's coming from the side streets.  But we're all going towards the same church." 

"And yet we all want to ride in the same car.  But we don't all fit."  

They find answers in their own musings.  We even took the time to pray.  They were that indignant about finding out the purpose of what compels them to keep wanting to do something better for the ministry that has been their second home.  

The conversations took a pause because some of them had to leave and some of us wanted to go to church and go to confession.  We sat through the line and waited for everyone to finish.  Then continued the conversations at home.  

We felt compelled to share a little bit more of ourselves.  Finding that honest heart to spill the truth about what we longed for, what bothered us, what hurt and what why we continue to struggle relentlessly so that we can all cling to the hope that one day, the apostolate will truly come alive again.

They talked about leadership and how it can be better.  They talked about unity and how to achieve it we must all endure the conflict until we have rubbed against each others' rough edges enough and smoothened it out.  They encouraged each other and they mirrored the truth they saw in one another.  And I sat right in the middle just soaking it all in. 

"I want to teach about the cross.  How it has redeemed me." 

"Why don't you teach us!  Share with us your passion for the cross." 

"I've always loved being a leader because I learn so much from other people.  I love being able to teach them because I learn so much from them in return." 

"We need to be able to find it in ourselves to work things out no matter what.  We should not leave a disagreement hanging.  If we have to stay up all night talking, we will do it." 

"I love you guys."   

"You need to find that longing ache that causes you to love even the differences of others.  It is what will move you to want everything to be better.  You need to build your foundations on rock." 

"We have the fullness of truth.  It may take some time before we understand everything, but together we need to keep pursuing that."

Words empower and words destroy.  These words that were said tonight, started to weave a bond of strength.  It came right from an Unseen Hand that knew how to knit hearts and minds together.

I sat there at awe and could only say, "This is the kingdom, right here."  

Tonight has made me remember what it feels like to have my heart broken so that God can stretch it a little bit wider.  Open it up so that it can fit in more love.  It has been a while since I paid attention to the love I used to feel for The Youth.  But I have always known that my vocation as a youth minister hasn't changed.  I will always be one.  I will always want to see young people grow.  I will always want to help them rise up.  I will always want to be around them because they are the perfect people who can help me realize what it means to really grow up.

(taken from kevy's instagram)

Tonight, we've learned how to "break bread" again.  And it is when bread is broken that it becomes blessed enough to be given away.

A Fascination for Youth Ministry and Giving Up Thyself

I have been reflecting about this for a while.  I wonder about why some youth groups work and some don't.  I've read quite a few books on ministry and have followed some writers on the topic but it remains to be seen, this elusive solution on why the youth group I am in seems to fluctuate in its progress of taking flight.

I have witnessed only one revival.  It has never quite happened again and here are just some of my observations on what made that revival work.

It worked because there were at least two people who shared the same heart and mind and longed so much to see growth happen.  It worked because at least two people sought for wisdom that they knew cannot be found where they were.  It worked because at least two people sought counsel.  It worked because at least two people worked on themselves, their spirit, their outlook, their beliefs and got it straightened out so that an authentic pursuit of a faith life of a youth minister can begin.

My fascination in observing the dynamics of these ministries and the how God moves within these lives has never waned.  I don't know why I'm fascinated with it.  I haven't fully figured out what my place is whenever I find myself in these situations but I suppose I can simply say that I am called to witness.  To witness God do His work.  To witness God transform something that can be messed-up, chaotic, disorganized, downtrodden, and most difficult to change into something only His glory can attest to have unleashed.  

Witnessing to such a miracle can drive anybody to seek more of it.  I sure have been driven to find another unfolding of these miracles in my midst.  Yet as I seek more of these miracles, I begin to realize that sometimes the miracle is not in the circumstance, the miracle happens in my perspective.  What I had witnessed then may be light years different from what I am waiting to witness now primarily because the people are different.  I have realized this morning that my vocation as youth minister does not get any easier and that's just the truth of it.  I need to be able to see God's steadfast love regardless of who I am dealing with.  I need to see Him in them.  Regardless of who they are.  

So the need to always be "constantly renewing my mind" (Romans 12) needs to happen even if I am surrounded by young people who are quite intent on sticking to their frame of reference.  But, Jesus, He took on our form and gave up himself.  His divine self.  The self that could have made things easier for Him.  He gave it up to show that I'm worth dying for.  I am worth loving.  

How far can you give up yourself for love? 

The Gift of Soul-filled Conversations

One of the things that becomes such a blessing in youth ministry is the gift of soulful conversations.  It is these conversations that make you resonate with the spiritual understanding of another that affirms your own and makes you desire a deeper connection and a joyful discovery.  I had those conversations last night with two young people.  Yes, I had them over beer and while that might seem such an irony to some  I didn't find it ironic at all.  Young people converse this way and the depth of the conversation led to their openness and to mine.  

We talked about a hunger that is relentless.  An ache that is restless.  Their longing for something significant.  Their longing for an experience that is bigger than their now.  They have touched the helm of Christ's cloak and they know most certainly that there is something more than what they are experiencing of their faith-filled life right now.  I know it too.  I experience it too.  And as I contemplate on what I can share with them, I slow down and ask myself, what are they ready to hear?  What are they ready to receive?  And may what I share not be because I only want to be affirmed of my own convictions but it is what God wants us to partake of that moment.

Last night was beautiful because it hasn't happened in a long time.  And it has given me a surge of strength to face another week.  

There is a fragile force that uplifts the restless and the longing heart.  It is not an impatient nudge.  It is not an impulse of haste.  It is quiet.  Pervading.  It sometimes eludes us.  It is a mystery.  And yet we continue to remain captivated with this force that surrounds us and overwhelms us into a silence.  There are those amongst the young who are attuned so early in their age with the realities of God and I am humbled to witness their unfolding and I long to be one of those who continue to witness it until it comes into a fruition.  

How GK Chesterton gave me insight into youth ministry

GK Chesterton's words from his book entitled "Orthodoxy" inspired this blog for one reason.  It captures so much of what goes on behind the lives of people who have chosen to serve God in many different ways.  For me, it's currently youth ministry.  

The swiftest things are the softest things. A bird is active because a bird is soft. A stone is helpless, because a stone is hard. The stone must by its own nature go downwards because hardness is weakness. A bird can of it's nature go upwards because fragility is force.

I was drawn to this reading into a book entitled "Forgotten Among Lilies" by Ronald Rolheiser.  He says much of life becomes a bitter pill when we become too "hard" and fear the vulnerability that comes with loving and service.  Well, those weren't his exact words but what comes to my mind when I read Chesterton's words was the verse from Isaiah that says,

Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength they will soar on wings of eagles they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not grow faint.

Every person who I think has responded to God's call on working for the kingdom has felt in one way or another a weariness that can only be consoled by Him.  Despite this weariness, there is that fragile force that keeps pushing the heart to be lifted up so that it keeps on with that forward or upward motion towards realizing the hope that does not disappoint.  

I've been a youth minister since 2005 and I've been hooked.  I've been lifted up and brought low.  I've reached the heights and hit the ground crashing.  To think I only landed on that ministerial role by accident, I often wonder why I keep on at it whether or not I remain formally and informally part of an apostolate.  There always seems to be this part of me that continues to believe in the young.  Perhaps it is because I resonate with their struggles, their victories and defeats.  Perhaps it is because young people never give up trying.  Perhaps because I was once a young person who wanted second chances.  

I won't be writing this alone.  Others will write with me.  Hopefully along the journey, we will all come to understand this compelling vocation to serve in youth ministry and keep up with the authentic call to live this life of faith.